Entitled Kids: Signs of Entitlement in Children & How to Raise Grateful Kids

The Entitlement Problem: Lack of Gratitude and Appreciation is a Breeding Ground for Entitlement Behaviors to Grow Quickly

In an era characterized by instant gratification and the age of indulgence, the challenge of entitlement behaviors in our children takes on a new significance.

Dr. Anna Lembke’s insights in her book “Dopamine Nation” shed light on how our current times promote a culture of immediacy, where desires are met promptly and effortlessly applicable to both children and adults. This environment can inadvertently lead our children to exhibit entitlement behaviors, as they become accustomed to having their wants met instantly.

As parents, it’s vital to recognize the implications of this age of indulgence and understand why prompt intervention is crucial.

This article delves into the world of entitlement behaviors, exploring how children’s interactions with their parents reflect the broader trends of instant gratification.

By addressing these behaviors early on, we can help our children navigate this challenging landscape, fostering empathy, gratitude, and responsibility before the patterns of entitlement become deeply ingrained.

 

Entitlement: Kids Actions Towards Parents & Family Members

Children may unintentionally exhibit a sense of entitlement towards their parents, as well as siblings and other family members, with an undertone of privilege and ingratitude, like my dinner story I shared above.

Here are some specific scenarios that might help you recognize entitlement in action at your home:

1) Not Appreciating Effort

When kids take what you do for granted — meals, laundry, rides, emotional labor — it stings. Entitlement shows up in small, subtle ways, like sighing over dinner or complaining that “we never do anything fun,” when you just spent your entire Saturday at the park.

Real-life example: I once spent hours making cupcakes for my daughter’s class party, only for her to say, “Why didn’t you make the chocolate ones?” I wanted to cry — and that was my sign something needed to change.

Fix it:

• • Call out gratitude out loud. “Let’s all thank Dad for cooking tonight.”

  • Encourage your kids to notice effort, not outcomes.

  • Ask, “What’s something someone did for you today?” at dinner.

  • Don’t overcompensate. Let them feel discomfort when they forget gratitude.

  • Practice Empathy: Gently ask your child about their thoughts on the meal. If they express dissatisfaction, acknowledge their feelings without judgment.
  • Rotate Responsibilities: Involve your child in meal planning and preparation occasionally. This can help them appreciate the effort that goes into providing for the family.

2) Refusing Responsibility

When kids assume chores are “Mom’s job,” entitlement is already taking root. Contributing to family life teaches responsibility, empathy, and teamwork — all antidotes to entitlement.

Real-life example: My son once told me, “Why do I have to take out the trash? You’re closer to it.” I almost laughed (and then cried). But we used it as a teachable moment about fairness, not convenience.

Fix it:

• Give every child age-appropriate chores — daily, not “as needed.”

• Don’t redo their work; let “done” be “good enough.”

• Rotate tasks so no one feels “stuck” with the hard ones.

• Reinforce that family = teamwork, not staff and boss.

• Set Clear Expectations: Establish a chore chart with age-appropriate responsibilities for everyone in the family, including parents.
• Model Behavior: When doing chores, mention how it contributes to the family’s well-being and expresses gratitude for everyone’s efforts.
• Celebrate Contributions: Praise your child for completing their responsibilities. Reinforce that each person’s efforts are vital in maintaining a happy home.

3) Demanding Immediate Attention

Entitled kids expect the world to stop for them. When they interrupt conversations or melt down if you don’t respond instantly, they’re learning impatience, not respect.

Real-life example: A friend told me her daughter once interrupted a phone call and shouted, “You’re not even listening!” Her mom calmly said, “You’re right — I’m not, because I’m talking right now. I’ll listen when I’m done.” It took repetition, but the message stuck.

Fix it:

• Model patience. Don’t drop everything at every “Mom!”

• Teach waiting cues — a hand on your arm means “wait.”

• Praise them when they wait respectfully.

• Let them see you respect others’ time, too.

• Establish Communication Norms: Teach your child that it’s respectful to wait for an appropriate time to interrupt and ask for attention.

• Explain Boundaries: Discuss why respecting your time and space is important. Share examples of when they’re engrossed in an activity.

• Offer Alternatives: Suggest ways they can occupy themselves while you finish your task, like reading a book or working on a puzzle.

4) Disregarding Boundaries

When kids barge into your space, use your things without asking, or ignore rules they don’t like, it’s not “strong-willed” — it’s entitlement dressed up as independence.

Real-life example: My tween started “borrowing” my AirPods and makeup. When I asked her not to, she shrugged and said, “You never use them anyway.” Cue the deep breath and calm-but-firm boundary talk.

Fix it:

• Create physical boundaries — your room, your desk, your things.

• Use natural consequences (if it’s borrowed without asking, it’s off-limits).

• Teach consent through everyday examples: “Would you like it if I did that to you?”

• Reinforce respect by modeling it — knock before entering their room, too.

5) Expecting Special Treatment

When kids believe they deserve more simply because they want more, they’ve lost sight of fairness and effort.

Real-life example: A mom told me her son demanded dessert because “I exist!” — and honestly, that sums up the modern entitlement problem in one sentence.

Fix it:

• Replace “You deserve it” with “You earned it.”

• Use “when–then” phrasing: “When your homework is done, then you can play.”

• Celebrate effort and follow-through, not entitlement.

• Avoid rescuing or bribing — let natural consequences teach lessons.

6) Constant Complaining

When kids complain about what they don’t have instead of appreciating what they do, gratitude starts to erode. Entitled kids are rarely satisfied because they’ve learned to expect constant upgrades.

Fix it:

• Make a gratitude ritual — one thankful thought before bed.

• Model positive language: “I’m thankful we have this, even if it’s not perfect.”

• Occasionally say “no” to good things so they appreciate them more.

• Volunteer together — perspective is the best teacher of gratitude.

7) Avoiding Accountability

Entitled kids are pros at deflection — “It’s not my fault,” “He started it,” or “You didn’t remind me.” Owning mistakes is uncomfortable, but it’s how kids grow responsibility muscles.

Fix it:

• Model accountability — admit when you overreact.

• Use “try again” moments instead of lectures.

• Let consequences stand without rescuing.

• Praise honest apologies and ownership.

8) Instant Gratification Mindset

Kids today are wired for “now.” Fast answers, fast snacks, fast everything. The problem? Real life doesn’t work that way — and delayed gratification builds character.

Fix it:

• Create waiting practice — “We’ll leave when the timer goes off.”

• Limit impulse purchases.

• Let boredom exist — creativity grows there.

• Reward persistence, not speed.

9) Disrespectful Tone or Words

Eye rolls, sighs, sarcasm — they’re all entitlement in disguise. Kids who speak rudely often feel powerful in the moment, but it damages connection.

Fix it:

• Model calm communication (even when they don’t).

• Pause the conversation until respect returns.

• Acknowledge emotions without accepting rudeness.

• Praise respectful language: “I appreciate how you asked kindly.”

10) Lack of Empathy

Entitled kids see the world through “me first” glasses. Teaching empathy helps them understand that their actions affect others — a cornerstone of gratitude and emotional maturity.

Fix it:

• Talk about how others feel (“How do you think that made him feel?”).

• Encourage helping roles — younger siblings, neighbors, grandparents.

• Volunteer as a family.

• Share real-life stories of generosity and kindness.

11) Taking Privilege for Granted

When kids grow up with abundance, it’s easy to forget that not everyone has the same access or opportunities. Gratitude grounds them in reality.

Fix it:

• Talk openly about money, work, and effort.

• Encourage saving, donating, and giving back.

• Have them earn extras — new toys, treats, or privileges.

• Say “no” sometimes — it’s one of the healthiest words in parenting.

From Entitled to Grateful 

If you’ve realized your home has a few entitlement habits creeping in — take a breath. This isn’t about shame; it’s about growth.

Every parent faces moments where entitlement creeps in — it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means your child is human and still learning. With awareness, empathy, and consistent boundaries, you can raise kids who are respectful, responsible, and genuinely grateful for what they have.

Every entitled behavior is a chance to teach gratitude, empathy, and responsibility. Kids aren’t born entitled — they’re born curious, and they learn from what they see.

You’re not failing if you have to re-teach manners, chores, or gratitude. You’re parenting — intentionally. And that’s exactly what helps kids grow into grateful, grounded, compassionate humans.

FAQs About Entitled Kids

What causes entitlement in children?

• Entitlement in kids usually comes from good intentions gone sideways. It often happens when parents over-give (to avoid conflict or guilt), under-require responsibility, or rescue kids from consequences too quickly. The mix of comfort without accountability teaches kids that effort isn’t necessary to receive.

What are the signs of an entitled child?

• Common signs include:

  • Complaining frequently or showing frustration when they don’t get what they want

  • Expecting rewards or praise for basic tasks

  • Disrespectful or demanding tone with parents

  • Difficulty sharing, helping, or empathizing with others

  • Avoiding responsibility or blaming others for mistakes

• These aren’t “bad kids” — they’re kids who need structure, gratitude, and consistency to re-learn balance.

How do I fix entitlement in my child?

• It starts with small, consistent actions:

1. 1. Set clear boundaries and stick to them.

   2. Give age-appropriate chores and expect follow-through.

   3. Model gratitude and talk about effort and appreciation often.

   4. Let natural consequences do the teaching — don’t rush to rescue.

   5. Praise character (“You worked hard!”) instead of outcome (“You’re the best!”).

How do I raise grateful, grounded kids instead of entitled ones?

• Gratitude grows in homes where kindness, patience, and service are practiced daily. Involve your kids in acts of giving — volunteering, writing thank-you notes, donating toys, or helping neighbors. The more they see how their actions affect others, the more appreciation takes root.

What’s the difference between confidence and entitlement?

• Confidence says, “I believe I can do it.”
• Entitlement says, “I deserve it — even if I didn’t earn it.”
• Teaching kids the difference means celebrating effort, resilience, and humility as much as achievement. Confident kids work hard and take pride in trying; entitled kids expect success without effort.

Can entitlement be unlearned?

• Yes — absolutely. Entitlement isn’t a personality trait; it’s a learned behavior, which means it can be unlearned with consistent guidance. When kids start practicing gratitude, taking responsibility, and experiencing natural consequences, entitlement naturally decreases. It’s never too late to reset your family culture.

How can I model gratitude as a parent?

• Your kids learn gratitude by watching you live it. Say “thank you” to your partner. Acknowledge helpers in public. Express appreciation out loud — even for small things. Gratitude isn’t a lecture; it’s a lifestyle they absorb every day in your home.

When should I worry about entitlement becoming a bigger problem?

• If your child consistently shows a lack of empathy, deflects responsibility, or reacts angrily to reasonable limits, it may help to bring in a parenting coach, counselor, or family therapist for guidance. Sometimes a neutral third party helps reset patterns in a positive, productive way.

Related Resources: 

• From Entitlement to Empathy: Cultivating Gratitude in Children
• Parenting Tweens: The Four Big Developmental Stages
• Why Empty Threats Don’t Work (And What To Do Instead)
• How To Help Kids With Bottled-Up Emotions
• Helping To Develop Strong Coping Skills For Kids